I went to see my dad today.  He's really sick.  He has a brain tumor and a broken hip.  Being 80 will do that to some people.

When I was a little girl I always got sick.  He brought me tapioca pudding.  I didn't like it but he convinced me that it had healing powers.  So I ate it.

I listened to his worries and frustrations today and tried to have patience when he said weird things. It was obvious he was lonely and depressed.

Once I ran into my bedroom crying because of problems with friends or boys. I don't remember. He came and sat down and listened to me cry and tried to help me sort out my weird, hurt ideas.

I find it difficult to like him.  He did things that hurt me and those I love.

When I was a teenager my dad let me drive his car.  I was stupid and let my boyfriend drive,  He didn't see a cement post and ran the new Subaru right up onto it.  It wasn't pretty.  I didn't have to pay for the repairs.

I saw him kick my mom in the face.  Then he made her go to church and tell a lie about why she had a black eye.

Whenever I hear the poem Hiawatha I think of getting scared of thunder and climbing into my parent's bed.  My dad had that poem memorized and he recited it to me to calm my nerves.

When I was sixteen I was cold and climbed in a motel bed with my parents to get warm while I waited for one of my 7 siblings to finish in the only shower.  My dad tried to take off my swimming suit.

I haven't seen or talked to my dad for 7 or 8 years.  I didn't want my children to be around him.  I hated him.

But I went to see my dad today.  He's really sick.  He has a brain tumor and a broken hip.  Being 80 will do that to some people.