George Ransom Burton Family

This is a picture of Maud Burton in 1926.  She's my father's mother.

Maud Smith is tying Eva Castleton's shoe.

Maud Smith and George Ransom Burton at their 50th wedding anniversary. They are holding their hats the same way they did when they were dating 50 years before in the inset picture.

I went to see my dad today.  He's really sick.  He has a brain tumor and a broken hip.  Being 80 will do that to some people.

When I was a little girl I always got sick.  He brought me tapioca pudding.  I didn't like it but he convinced me that it had healing powers.  So I ate it.

I listened to his worries and frustrations today and tried to have patience when he said weird things. It was obvious he was lonely and depressed.

Once I ran into my bedroom crying because of problems with friends or boys. I don't remember. He came and sat down and listened to me cry and tried to help me sort out my weird, hurt ideas.

I find it difficult to like him.  He did things that hurt me and those I love.

When I was a teenager my dad let me drive his car.  I was stupid and let my boyfriend drive,  He didn't see a cement post and ran the new Subaru right up onto it.  It wasn't pretty.  I didn't have to pay for the repairs.

I saw him kick my mom in the face.  Then he made her go to church and tell a lie about why she had a black eye.

Whenever I hear the poem Hiawatha I think of getting scared of thunder and climbing into my parent's bed.  My dad had that poem memorized and he recited it to me to calm my nerves.

When I was sixteen I was cold and climbed in a motel bed with my parents to get warm while I waited for one of my 7 siblings to finish in the only shower.  My dad tried to take off my swimming suit.

I haven't seen or talked to my dad for 7 or 8 years.  I didn't want my children to be around him.  I hated him.

But I went to see my dad today.  He's really sick.  He has a brain tumor and a broken hip.  Being 80 will do that to some people.

I have been asked to speak on Strengthening Home and Family through Uplifting Music.

Elder Nelson, speaking in General Conference in December, 2009 said that:

Complete conversion is the key to our experiencing God’s greatest blessings. In the Doctrine and Covenants, we read this expression from the Lord: “For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads” (D&C 25:12).

I would like to speak about how uplifting music, throughout my life, has lead to my conversion and in doing so has strengthened my home and family.

My hope is that as I share a few personal experiences about uplifting music, the Holy Ghost can bring to your mind similar experiences you've had. I hope we can all be reminded how the Lord has delighted in our songs of the heart and used uplifting music to bless us. In this way we can see how much uplifting music has strengthened and will strengthen our homes and families.

As a young girl I remember singing the song, “Give Said the Little Stream.” We must have been preparing for a primary program. I was a wiggly 4-year old but I remember that as we sang that song over and over my mind became aware of the children around me. I felt the stirrings of love for all the children in the room as we sang.

Give said the little stream

As it hurried down the hill

I'm small I know but wherever I go

The grass grows greener still

In primary we sang other songs that strengthened my testimony like “Book of Mormon Stories” and “Tell Me the Stories of Jesus”

Scenes by the wayside

Tales of the Sea,

Stories of Jesus,

Tell them to me.

After singing this song I wanted to know all the stories of Jesus. I wanted to know what these fascinating tales of the sea were. My testimony of the Savior grew when I learned about His life.

Then when I approached adulthood, I found myself alone in church. I come from a family of ten so it was unusual to be alone at church. I sat near the back and during the sacrament, we sang “There Is A Green Hill Far Away.” The light was streaming through the window and I felt a very personal experience. I felt overwhelmed by the love of God. I knew the church was true.

Oh, dearly, dearly has he loved and we must love him too.

And trust in His redeeming blood and try his works to do.

I'm sure that many of you can think of times this has happened to you and I hope you will think of them now and we can all testify of the wonderful things the Lord has done for us through uplifting music.

I am not an accomplished musician. I took violin for years and the piano. I can plunk out a tune but it doesn't come naturally to me and I have to work hard to make anything sound very good. But I was in an orchestra in school for many years and so I enjoy classical music and enjoy it's musical quality.

As a young mother I enjoyed the popular music of the day, but when my older children were young and my two year old sang a song we listened to daily at the top of her lungs during the sacrament, I knew that I needed to change and have worshipful music in my home.

At about this time, I was invited to be in a ward choir. I was reluctant and didn't want to be bothered with choir on Sunday mornings. My big sister was the chorister, though and I really had no choice. The choir members were patient with me. They helped me understand how to read choral music and how to find the notes. About this same time it became apparent that I would not be able to bear any more children of my own. I had had two children and my body couldn't bear any more. I understood through faith, fasting, prayer, temple attendance, doing family history and priesthood blessings that I would have to find my children.

In 1993 my husband and I found ourselves in a barracks turned hotel in a town in faraway Russia. We were on our way to an orphanage to meet the child that might become ours. The town had no churches and was in frozen Siberia. One afternoon, we read a verse of scripture together in Isaiah that touched us.

It's found in Isaiah 54:1

Sing, O ^bbarren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord.

After reading this verse I knew that Heavenly Father would hear our prayers. This scripture was a reassurance that he was aware of us and had a plan for us. He loved me so much he sent Daria to be in our family. Her life makes me want to break forth into singing. She has been so blessed and has blessed us so much. Recently, as my mother passed away, Daria held her hand and sang songs of the Savior to soothe her passing.

“I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me.

Confused at the grace that so fully he profers me.

I tremble to know that for me he was crucified.

That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died.”

Soon after Daria's adoption, we brought our son home from Mexico. At this time, I was still singing in the same ward choir. It was Christmastime and we sang about the baby Jesus. Many mothers know that the feelings of having a new child are at times tuned to the love Mary had for her baby Jesus. Our son had had no home and nowhere to lay his head. He also had to be brought to another country to be safe and cared for much like Jesus' family escaped Israel. Through these events I know that the stories of Jesus are true. My testimony grew and it strengthened my home and family to know that Jesus was born on this earth and lived and died here. He is our great creator and He gave his life for us.

So, because of all of these experiences I have a strong testimony of the importance of singing in the ward choir. Just like with everything else the Lord does for us. If we put forth a little effort, we are blessed beyond measure and the song of the righteous is answered with blessings on our heads.

Through miraculous events I was able to bear another child. While I was pregnant with her I took voice lessons and sang love songs and lullabies. The words to one of the songs I sang are

As I have loved you, love one another.

This new commandment. Love one another.

While I sang I understood the love Heavenly Father has for families. He loves all people everywhere. He provides a way for us to be together in families, even though it may seem impossible.

Now I participate in our ward choir. Just last month we sang “Come, Come, Ye Saints” Sister Ballard bore her testimony that that is the song that brings her along in times of discouragement or sorrow. We sang the song over and over. It was a complicated arrangement and needed lots of repetition. My daughters are in choir and they sang the hymn in ward choir. Last week, one daughter said that during the week, she was feeling lost and lonely. She felt that things she had done were too bad to be forgiven. She didn't feel love from her family or from Heavenly Father. She felt that she was losing her testimony. As she cried, the words to the hymn “Come, Come, Ye Saints” came to her mind.

Though hard to you this journey may appear,

Grace shall be, as your day...

All is well. All is well.

She said she felt an overwhelming love from Heavenly Father as these words came to her mind. She knew that her family loved her and that the church was true. I am grateful for sister Ballard and for ward choir. It lifts and strengthens home and family.

Like I said, I have to work really hard musically. It doesn't come easily to me but because of my faithful attendance at ward choir I have been blessed with a few experiences that have brought me to a to what I believe is a change of heart.

When the Mount Timpanogas temple was being built I was in the choir at the dedication. The prophet and a few people were in the celestial room when we sang but as we sang I know there were more people there than just the few people in that room.

My testimony grew while I sang in the temple I know that angels in heaven rejoice with gladness over temples.

A few years ago I had an experience that will change the way I sing forever. I was asked to sing in a Relief Society choir with a few other wonderful sisters from this ward. We sang for the general Relief Society meeting. As I entered the room where all of the women in the choir were seated, I was astounded by the number of women and the sound of their voices. Our director was full of life and a testimony of Christ. We began to sing. She was not happy. She videotaped us and showed us what we looked like. Our faces were stoic and unexpressive. She pointed out that we were not happy. It was true. I found it difficult to sing with feeling. It took several weeks but my face began to show emotion. The songs I sang began to be a prayer to the Lord.

Savior, may I learn to love thee,

walk the path that thou hast shown.

Pause to help and lift another,

finding strength beyond my own.

Savior, may I learn to love thee.

Lord, I would follow thee.

With practice my heart began to soften. As we sang, I learned to love those who had wronged me. I didn't only learn to forgive them for their wrongdoings but I understood that I had wrongdoings that had hurt others. I wanted to repent. I began to repent faithfully and sincerely. As I did so, my weaknesses were made known to me and I continued to repent and ask Heavenly Father to make my weaknesses strengths. I also began to have a desire to serve those who had offended me. I wanted to point out their good qualities and give them words of encouragement along the way. While participating in uplifting music, I felt what I think is called a change of heart. The words to Amazing Grace say it best.

I once was lost but now am found.

Was blind, but now I see.

Singing in this choir helped me have a little better understanding of the stories of Jesus, of his Atoning sacrifice. That has blessed my home and family as I have taught repentance and forgiveness to my children and acquaintances.

I know that what Elder Nelson said in conference in 2009 is true. Again I quote:

Complete conversion is the key to our experiencing God’s greatest blessings. In the Doctrine and Covenants, we read this expression from the Lord: “For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads” (D&C 25:12).

I testify that the Savior loves us. He can heal every broken heart. Through the song of the righteous He will mend wounds. I know that through music our homes and families can and will be strengthened. I hope that the Holy Ghost has whispered to your heart that you have had similar experiences with uplifting music. I'm sure it has healed and blessed your lives and that you will share these feelings with your classes and with your families. I know that the song of the righteous is a prayer to the Lord and I thank him for answering mine and blessing me and my family through uplifting music.

In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

March 1 2010

My Change of Heart or Is This What the Fruit Tastes Like?

For many years I have had a desire to heal from the effects of abuse and neglect that plagued my family during my early years. I heard talks on forgiveness and repentance and didn't understand how those concepts could heal me.  As shattered lives and difficult relationships become worsened because of the selfish acts of others, I yearned for healing.

Because of difficult years in my early youth I had become hard and angry.  I could see that my attitude was not helping me become who I wanted to be. I wanted to be a peacemaker and find joy in life. I wanted to enjoy the blessings of being a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I felt something was missing.

My relationships with others continued to worsen as I found fault in others. In my mind, no one was ever good enough. I knew people who were trying to live the gospel standards and would fall short. I could see mistakes people made and their mistakes frustrated me. I was miserable.

Late at night as I stayed up praying to God for some relief of my frustrations, I read and pondered the scriptures. I felt the Lord was telling me to repent.  I read 2 Nephi 30:2.  This and many other references to repentance seemed to be instructing me.  But I wasn't the one with the problems, I thought. Night after night I read the Book of Mormon and felt the words of the scriptures telling me to repent.

Finally, I gave in. I began to repent. I began asking Heavenly Father to forgive me for finding so much fault in others. I wanted to feel peace. The atonement of Jesus Christ became active in my life and I felt a change of heart. I felt my wounds of the past mistakes of others heal. I began to feel peace. The realization that if I couldn't forgive others I would become what I hated so much became obvious. Understanding enlightened my mind.  The concepts of turning the other cheek and showing patience and love instead of anger and revenge was a whole new process I had not understood. This repentance process continued for several nights as the Lord revealed my faults to me and I plead for the healing balm only He can give.

My eyes began to open to the sweet fruit of the gospel. I understood that no one is perfect. Everyone has some good traits and qualities. I had been forgiven and could finally forgive others. The more time I spend looking for the good in others, the more peace I feel. It's fun to share these ideas with others and feel hope.  As the scriptures say through the atonement of Christ our faults are washed away. Jesus heals us by magnifying our good qualities if we look to Him for forgiveness.

Because of Jesus Christ I don't feel so much anger or resentment. My old habits are being changed. Now I can lift other's burdens by helping them see the good in themselves. I am finding the peace the gospel brings. I enjoy it so much it tastes good.